Productivity

How To Easily Stop Procrastinating

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Everyone is occasionally guilty of procrastinating! Here are some very easy ways to stop procrastinating.

 

1. Try Positive Procrastination

If you are feeling super lazy, try using your procrastination to your advantage. You can leverage tasks by writing down a list of things that you need to do  – and then start by completing the easiest task. This methodical method means that you are much more likely to start working as you are setting yourself a fairly easy target.

Completing the easiest tasks first means that you can put off the hardest tasks, but it means that you are still working and getting into a productive flow. Once you have finished the first few tasks you will be feeling more productive so it will be easier to complete the difficult tasks, and they will seem less overwhelming as you will already have ticked a few things off your to-do list.

 

2. Work On Your Mood

If you are in a bad mood you are much more likely to procrastinate, as you are more likely to think that you should improve your mood by doing something fun.

When you are in a bad mood you are less likely to knuckle down and work, as you feel like you deserve to do something that makes you happy. On the other hand, if you are already in a good mood you won’t be thinking about how you can improve your mood, so you are more likely to work.

Try to improve your mood quickly by watching a YouTube video or chatting to a friend – but remember that you are improving your mood so that you can be productive!

 

3. Break Tasks Up

Big tasks can seem overwhelming, and one of the main causes of procrastination is the feeling of dread. The task seems so big that you know it will take a long time to complete, and this can be disheartening.

If you can relate to this, break the tasks up into smaller, more manageable chunks. Sure, writing a 10 page essay is overwhelming – but writing an introduction isn’t too hard, and you can do that in less than an hour.

What do you think of my suggestions? Do you think that they will help you to procrastinate less? Let me know with a comment!

My Thoughts On Anxiety

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Anxiety is a big problem for a lot of people, including myself. Sometimes it can seem like anxiety is an unavoidable part of daily life, and I am starting to think that this is true.

I know this sounds negative, but let me explain.

Imagine that you are a fluffy puppy living with your owner. (A little weird I know… but stay with my train of thought!) You may be an animal but you will still feel stress and anxiety; for instance, you may feel stressed if you need to go for a wee but your owner won’t let you out. You will feel stress if your owner goes to the local shop, or if your food bowl is empty.

This stress is similar to the stress that humans feel, but there is one key difference; when an animal feels stress it is easy to solve the problem quickly. If they are hungry they will find food, if they are thirsty they will find water – and if they need to go to the toilet, then they will!

For the puppy that is the end of the stressful situation. This is because animals live in a world where it is easy to quickly deal with stress, as it is linked to survival. This was the same for humans for most of our evolution – you felt hungry, you felt stressed, you found some food and the stress disappeared.

This means that stress once helped us to survive.

However modern life isn’t that simple. Most of the things that cause you stress are long term issues, such as worrying about your career, relationships and family problems. It can take years to form a good career, and therefore it is very difficult to stop worrying about it.

Most of the choices that we make won’t immediately relieve our stress; if you want a good career you will have to study hard, apply for jobs and wait to hear if you have an interview. If you want to be financially secure in the future, you can’t spend a day saving and then be done – you must spend your whole life saving and spending responsibly.

This makes it a lot harder for humans to de-stress, but there is still something that you can do to relieve stress; you can measure your progress in tiny chunks.

If you are worried about starting a good career, make the effort to apply improve your resume today. If you are worried about your finances, ring a financial adviser today. These small steps will help your brain to de-stress as it will help to remove the uncertainty from the situation.

If you are feeling stressed right now, think about what you can do today to relieve that stress. It may only be something small, but it will help you to sleep easier tonight. : )

6 Ways To Deal With Stress

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

Everyone has to deal with stressful situations. This is because sadly stressful situations are just part of life, but thankfully these unpleasant situations are normally few and far between.

However, lots of people go through times that are extremely stressful. When this happens it is hard to eat food, it is hard to sleep and you may even feel physically sick. Over time it can start to feel like stress is the only constant feeling in your life, which is mentally draining.

If you can relate to this, you should spend some time every day actively dealing with the stress in your life.

Here are 6 ways to deal with stress.

 

1. Start A Stress Diary

Make a note of the date, the time and your location every time you feel stressed out, and rate how stressed you feel out of ten. This will make it easier for you to discover which situations make you feel stressed, so you can start to think about how to avoid that situation. For instance, if you only ever feel stressed when you are with one friend, cut them out of your life!

 

2. Start A To Do List

A to-do list will make it easier for you to feel like you are in control of your life, and it will make the stressful tasks seem less overwhelming.

 

3. Shorten Your To Do List

I know this may seem like a contradiction but to-do lists can only help so much – and if you start overburdening yourself with tasks, you will soon feel stressed again. If your to-do list always makes you feel stressed you may need to drop a few things, such as a hobby or an extra commitment. It can be difficult to do less, but it will help if you always feel stressed.

 

4. Just Focus On One Thing

Choose one task to deal with, and when it is done start thinking about the next task. This can be hard to do but it will reduce your feelings of stress and fear.

 

5. Say No If You Want To

Some people feel like they have to say yes to everyone, because when they say no they feel like they are letting people down. However, in reality you are letting down yourself if you say yes when you don’t want to!

 

6. Avoid Using A Crutch

Lots of people turn to a crutch during stressful times, such as smoking, drinking or eating junk food. While I am not personally judging you for having a crutch, it does make it a lot easier to avoid dealing with the stressful situation! This is because people often think “this is stressful, so I’m going to smoke” rather than thinking “this is stressful, so I’m going to try and think of solutions to solve the problem.” Next time you feel stressed spend five minutes thinking about possible solutions before you go to your crutch.

Thought Provoking Quotes About Anxiety

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

Anxiety affects millions of people every year. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting around 18 percent of the population.

Here are 10 thought provoking quotes about anxiety and how it affects people.

1. Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far. Jodi Picoult

2. P.S. You’re not going to die. Here’s the white-hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you’ll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you’ll still be okay. If you sing off-key, get beat by the competition, have your heart shattered, get fired…it’s not going to kill you. Ask anyone who’s been through it. Danielle LaPorte

3. Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

4. People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh

5. The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness. Alain de Botton

6. Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. Walter Anderson

7. You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. Eleanor Roosevelt

8. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. Grenville Kleiser

9. People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. George Bernard Shaw

10. Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths. Charles Haddon Spurgeon

5 Ways To Be Nice Even When You Don’t Want To

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

In an ideal world we would only have to interact with friendly, kind, considerate people. They would make an effort to get along with others, and they would avoid causing conflict or burdening others.

Sadly we don’t live in an ideal world. Some people are rude, inconsiderate and selfish, and we still have to spend time with them. These people don’t have the same sense of humour as you, they get on your nerves and you sometimes wish you could avoid them – but you can’t.

It can be difficult to be nice to people like this, but normally that is the best decision. Choosing to actively dislike someone can result in you becoming unpleasant yourself; maybe you will gossip about them or encourage others to dislike them, or maybe you will unfairly judge them due to your dislike of them.

It is easy to be mean to mean people, but it doesn’t achieve anything. Here are 5 ways to be nice to someone, even when you don’t want to be nice.

 

1. Try To Be Aware Of The Times When You Aren’t Nice

You may find that you sometimes snap at people without meaning to. It is too late to change that reaction, but it isn’t too late to address why you weren’t nice. It could be because you were tired after a long day, so you took your frustrations out on someone else. Acknowledge the exact reason why you weren’t kind, and you will be less likely to repeat the action.

 

2. Avoid Conflict

If you don’t feel like being nice you might be tempted to bring up issues that will cause conflict, but this will just make the problem worse. Instead focus on being friendly – and if you do want to say something critical, make sure that it is constructive.

 

3. Focus On Common Ground

Even if you think that you have absolutely nothing in common with the other person, there will be at least one thing that you both agree on. Make an effort to talk to them about different things, including music, TV, sports and hobbies. Just having one thing that you see eye-to-eye on will make it easier for you to be nice to each other. Avoid political subjects, as this conversation may end up making you both dislike each other even more!

 

4. Make Kind Gestures

If the person you dislike is a co-worker, ask if they want anything from the shop when you make a shop run. If it is someone you spend time with outside of work (such as a family member, or a friend of your partners), offer to help them with a small task. These small gestures will make it easier for you to get along, and it will help to reduce any tension or awkwardness between you.

 

Minimize Contact

 

If the other person isn’t reciprocating your gestures you should minimize contact with them for your own emotional wellbeing. If you see each other less it will be easier for you to be nice when you do see them, and it means that the relationship will become a smaller part of your life. You may not be able to control the other person’s actions, but you can control your own!

How To Make Friends

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Do you want to make new friends? If you do, you’re not alone. There are lots of reasons why people want to make friends, such as;

  • They moved to a new city and they don’t know anyone yet.
  • Most of their friends moved away for work or University.
  • They have been in a long term relationship for a long time and they let their friends drop out of the picture.
  • They feel like they have nothing in common with their current friends.
  • They used to enjoy being alone, but now they often feel lonely and they would like someone to reach out to.
  • Whatever your reason, it is easy to make friends if you try. Here 6 tips to help you make new friends.

 

1. Think About What Kind Of Friends You Want

Before you get out there and try to actively make friends, it can be useful to think about why you need new friends. Do you want someone to go out dancing with at the weekend? Do you want new friends because you are lonely? Do you want a friend you can go to the gym with? This will help you to decide where to look for new friends, so that you find the right people for you.

 

2. Spend Time With People Who Have Lots Of Friends

One of the easiest ways to meet new people in a relaxed setting is to hang around with someone who already has a lot of friends. Think about your current friends and acquaintances; do you know anyone who is a social butterfly, or who is popular in certain circles?

 

3. Look For Friends At Work Or School

The people you spend the most time with are normally work colleagues or classmates.  Do you already have a connection with one of your classmates or colleagues, such as a shared interest in spots? If so, make the effort to ask them to hang out after work. If that idea makes you feel nervous, you can take the pressure off by organizing a group hangout with your colleagues or classmates.

 

4. Join Meet Up Pages And Social Networks

Have a look online and see if your city has a meet-up page. Most cities do, and people can join these pages to go to meet-ups with other people with shared interests. For example, my city offers a meet-up page with different categories for different people, including “nights out and drinking”, “book lovers” and “freelancers.”

 

5. Don’t forget to keep in touch

We often meet people who we get along well with, but we don’t follow up on the connection. If you meet someone who you get along with, make the effort to get their number or add them on social media. This way you can speak further – you could even arrange to meet up.

 

6. Look Back At Your Old Friendships

Most people have an old friendship that has faded, but they would like to re-start the friendship. Think about your old friends; do you miss any of them? If so, take the initiative to get back in contact with them. It is likely that the other person feels the same way, so this is an easy way to form a friendship.

Do you have any other tips? Let me know with a comment!

How To Spot A Narcissist

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

We’ve all encountered narcissists, but sometimes it isn’t easy to tell that they’re a narcissist until it is too late. Before you know it, you have a co-worker who is always bragging about their life, or a friend who always makes the conversation about themselves.

If you can relate to this, don’t worry. There are often tell-tale signs that give away narcissism – and here they are.

 

They are likeable to begin with. Narcissists often make great first impressions, coming across as charismatic and friendly – which is probably why they perform so well in job interviews.

 

They often work in leadership positions. This isn’t because they make better leaders; it is just because they want to lead and rule, so they are more likely to end up in a leadership position than someone else. If they aren’t a leader, you can bet that they wish they were!

 

They always make the conversation about themselves. They often do this without any clear link – one minute you are talking about work, and the next minute they are talking about their problems/achievements, such as a break up or a promotion.

 

In all the stories they tell, they are never to blame.  The story could paint them as either a winner or a victim – either way, they will still be blameless.

 

Appearance is important to them. They are more likely to make an effort with their appearance, and they are also more likely to buy high-status items such as an expensive phone or car.

 

Their past is filled with human wreckage. They may have been through many jobs and break-ups, because narcissists put themselves before everyone else (including their partners.)

 

They are more likely to take things personally. If you and a narcissistic co-worker disagree about a future project, they will think that you are against them personally, instead of accepting that you both have different ideas.

 

What do you think about these points? Do you know a narcissist?

15 Inspiring Quotes About Inner Strength

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

  1. “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius
  2. “I found an inner strength to fight for myself. It was clear that nobody else would.” Tehmina Durrani
  3. “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” Mahatma Gandhi
  4. “The storm is out there and every one of us must eventually face the storm. When the storm comes, pray that it will shake you to your roots and break you wide-open. Being broken open by the storm is your only hope. When you are broken open you get to discover for the first time what is inside you. Some people never get to see what is inside them; what beauty, what strength, what truth and love. They were never broken open by the storm. So, don’t run from your pain — run into your pain. Let life’s storm shatter you.” Bryant McGill
  5. “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” Albert Camus
  6. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
  7. “Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.” Sarah Dessen
  8. “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” Maya Angelou
  9. “Deep roots are not reached by the frost.” J.R.R. Tolkien
  10. “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch
  11. “Self-discovery is the most empowering time of your life, you remember who you are and you become the best version of yourself but what they forget to tell you is, to get to a point of pleasure you must face the pain.” Nikki Rowe
  12. “You are your master. Only you have the master keys to open the inner locks.” Amit Ray
  13. “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” Jane Austen
  14. “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.” Mahatma Gandhi
  15. “Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” Napoléon Bonaparte

What do you think about these quotes? Which is your favorite?

4 Ways To Communicate With Stubborn Friends And Family Members

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Long-term friends and family members are important to everyone. For most people, it feels great knowing that there are people in their lives who will always stick by them – even if they don’t always see eye to eye!

After years and years of knowing someone, you’re bound to disagree on something. This shouldn’t ruin your friendship, but sometimes it can be difficult to disagree with stubborn people without creating tension.

If you can relate to this, here are 4 tips to help you communicate effectively with your stubborn friends and family members.

 

1. Find Some Common Ground

The more someone disagrees with us, the more stubborn we become. If you want a stubborn person to see where you are coming from, start by finding some common ground. You don’t need to become a pushover and agree with their argument – just put the focus of the conversation on something you will both agree with. For instance, you could say “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this subject, but I hope that we can still go out for food after this conversation. Where do you want to go?” This will help to diffuse the tense situation.

 

2. Don’t Attack Or Blame

If someone feels backed into a corner, they become emotional and defensive. This means that they are more likely to attack and blame the other person, turning the disagreement into an argument, which is harder to resolve.

Instead of blaming, be honest. For example, instead of saying “You never do anything around the house,” you could say “I did a lot of tidying up last night. I’m really tired now – will you help me tonight?” This will help the other person to see your point, while diffusing the tension.

 

3. Don’t Focus On Proving Your Point

Sometimes disagreements end up going round and round in circles, because one person is only focused on proving their point. Instead of moving forward, they get sucked in and they won’t stop until the other person sees their point.

Don’t let yourself get caught in this emotional trap. Take a deep breath and focus on communication, rather than blindly proving a point. Ask the other person how they feel, and bring the subject back to the main issue.

 

4. Try To Listen And Ask Questions

Most arguments are caused because one person can’t see the other person’s perspective. If you want to resolve the issue, you should focus on listening and asking questions so that you can understand the other person’s point. The simple act of you trying to understand them should help them to calm down and relax, so that you can talk honestly and openly without tension.

Do you have any other tips? Let me know with a comment!

10 PRODUCTIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO IN YOUR FREE TIME

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

If you have a big chunk of free time, it is best to spend it with your friends or family, relaxing and enjoying yourself. However, if you only have a couple of minutes or quarter of an hour, it is often more useful to do a little productive task to make your life easier.

Here are 10 productive ways to fill a spare five minutes!

 

  1. Use the time to clear out your inbox and respond to any important emails.
  2. Do you have a friend or a co-worker that you need to speak to? Use this as a chance to pick up the phone and get the job done. You can do this wherever you are (if you have your phone!)
  3. If your desk is covered in junk and paper, spend a few minutes throwing away the rubbish and filing the important things. It will make the rest of your working day much more pleasant, and it will be easier for you to stay focused.
  4. Lots of people fall behind on their finances, but you can spend your free time paying a bill or making a note of a transaction. You’ll thank yourself later for this one!
  5. Back up your favorite photographs of you with your friends and family. It’s always good to have a back-up copy, and you can email a copy to the other people in the photograph.
  6. Network with your co-workers by contacting them with a question, or a follow-up email. This can really benefit your working relationships!
  7. Exercise. Do some jumping jacks, sit ups or push ups for a few minutes to get your heart racing.
  8. Stretch. Sitting at a desk all day can be really bad for your back, so do a few quick stretches while breathing slowly. This will relax your muscles and your mind.
  9. Become an expert. Do you love learning about steam trains, or are you fascinated by World War II? Learn everything you possibly can about your passion so that you’re an expert on the topic!
  10. Start a to-read collection. Bookmark webpages that you want to read later, or buy a magazine or a book that you can read later.

What do you think of these suggestions? Do you have any of your own? Please let me know with a comment! 🙂