5 Ways To Be Nice Even When You Don’t Want To


In an ideal world we would only have to interact with friendly, kind, considerate people. They would make an effort to get along with others, and they would avoid causing conflict or burdening others.

Sadly we don’t live in an ideal world. Some people are rude, inconsiderate and selfish, and we still have to spend time with them. These people don’t have the same sense of humour as you, they get on your nerves and you sometimes wish you could avoid them – but you can’t.

It can be difficult to be nice to people like this, but normally that is the best decision. Choosing to actively dislike someone can result in you becoming unpleasant yourself; maybe you will gossip about them or encourage others to dislike them, or maybe you will unfairly judge them due to your dislike of them.

It is easy to be mean to mean people, but it doesn’t achieve anything. Here are 5 ways to be nice to someone, even when you don’t want to be nice.


1. Try To Be Aware Of The Times When You Aren’t Nice

You may find that you sometimes snap at people without meaning to. It is too late to change that reaction, but it isn’t too late to address why you weren’t nice. It could be because you were tired after a long day, so you took your frustrations out on someone else. Acknowledge the exact reason why you weren’t kind, and you will be less likely to repeat the action.


2. Avoid Conflict

If you don’t feel like being nice you might be tempted to bring up issues that will cause conflict, but this will just make the problem worse. Instead focus on being friendly – and if you do want to say something critical, make sure that it is constructive.


3. Focus On Common Ground

Even if you think that you have absolutely nothing in common with the other person, there will be at least one thing that you both agree on. Make an effort to talk to them about different things, including music, TV, sports and hobbies. Just having one thing that you see eye-to-eye on will make it easier for you to be nice to each other. Avoid political subjects, as this conversation may end up making you both dislike each other even more!


4. Make Kind Gestures

If the person you dislike is a co-worker, ask if they want anything from the shop when you make a shop run. If it is someone you spend time with outside of work (such as a family member, or a friend of your partners), offer to help them with a small task. These small gestures will make it easier for you to get along, and it will help to reduce any tension or awkwardness between you.


Minimize Contact


If the other person isn’t reciprocating your gestures you should minimize contact with them for your own emotional wellbeing. If you see each other less it will be easier for you to be nice when you do see them, and it means that the relationship will become a smaller part of your life. You may not be able to control the other person’s actions, but you can control your own!


  1. Kalamain · January 22, 2017

    Uh… 5… Sheesh… I do this a lot.
    I’m professionally polite as the work situation requires but other than that, Pfft… No. I don’t talk to people that annoy me. If I need to help them then I will, and I will do it to the best of my ability… But I don’t even try to communicate beyond what I need to.
    I also go out of my way to avoid needing help as much as possible. Most often it means more work for me… I find that much better than working with someone I don’t like.

    One more thing for you that I find kinda works.
    Work as a group if you can. That way you can divert your time to another person in the group while working on a group thing. This can help head off any chance of butting heads.
    Personally I will defer to that other person so there is no chance of my having to speak to the other person.

    I get the feeling I have been doing things like this too long that I actively make plans just in case it happens. *sigh*
    Nice list. B-)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Roger Baker-Utah · January 26, 2017

    Great advice!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jay Colby · January 27, 2017

    Great tips!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. aFrankAngle · February 3, 2017

    A colleague from my past used to say, “Kill them with kindness.”

    Liked by 1 person

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