Author: The Twentysomething Social Recluse

4 Things That Could Make You A Boring Person

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Everyone wants to be funny and interesting, and no-one wants to be boring. But how do you actually know if you are boring or not?

There are a few signs that indicate boringness, just like there are signs that indicate that someone is entertaining. If you’re worried that you may come across as boring, here are 4 things that could make you a boring person.

Note: doing one or two of these things doesn’t necessarily mean that you are boring. However if you can check most of the list, you may want to work on your ability to interact with others!

 

1. You Aren’t Socially Aware

Some people struggle to understand basic social cues, and this can result in them coming across as boring. This is because they are more likely to talk about a subject that doesn’t interest other people. They are also more likely to talk about the subject at length as they are unaware that other people aren’t interested!

If you think that you struggle with social awareness, make sure to focus on the reactions of other people when you are talking to them. This will make it easier for you to gauge if they are interested or not.

 

2. You Are Constantly Negative

Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty person? There is nothing wrong with being negative occasionally, but negative shouldn’t be your default emotion. Many people dislike being around someone who complains constantly, and over time they get bored of spending time with someone who is trapped in a cycle of negativity.

If you think that you are too negative you should make an active effort to improve your mind-set. You can do this by saying positive affirmations, going to therapy, socialising more, exercising more and making a conscious effort to be more positive.

 

3. Stability Is Your Only Concern

Stability should be a priority for everyone, but it shouldn’t be your only priority as it can limit you and turn you into a boring person. This is because over time you are less likely to try new things, and you may see change as something that is scary and should be avoided.

If you think that stability is you only concern, try pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by trying something new. You never know – you could love it!

 

4. You Think That Everyone Around You Is Boring

If you think everyone around you is boring you may be a slight narcissist. It can also mean that you are the person who is actually boring, as you are disinterested in others and more invested in yourself and your own story. This may be very interesting to you, but it is very likely that other people find your story slightly boring – especially if you aren’t interested in their stories!

Do you agree with this list? Do you think there are any other signs that indicate being boring? Let me know with a comment!

How To Be Happier

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Would you like to be a happier person? Most people are fairly happy on a day to day basis, but sometimes they think “it would be nice to be a happier person.”

This is because we all face unhappiness in our lives, whether this is caused by stress, financial problems, love problems or even an annoying co-worker. Another cause of unhappiness can be social media, as many people portray an edited version of their life that makes them seem happier. This can make other people wonder why their lives aren’t as exciting as everyone else’s.

If you would like to be a happier person, here are three tips that will help.

 

1. Base Your Happiness On The Things That You Can Control

A common cause of unhappiness is basing your happiness on things that are out of your hands. You can’t control everything in your life, and being sad about the things that you can’t control is a waste of your time as it won’t change anything!

Instead base your happiness on the things that you can control. You can’t make it so that you have a huge inheritance, but you can work hard and save money. You can’t change your body type at the click of a finger, but you can work out so that you are happier with the way you look.

 

2. Be Comfortable With Negative Emotions

Even the happiest people in the world sometimes feel sadness and anger, so it is important to be okay with being sad sometimes. In fact, being comfortable with your negative emotions means that you are less likely to feel them again in the future, as you can choose to rationally assess why you feel sad or angry. This makes it easier for you to think of solutions.

 

3. Make A Note Of Your Daily Emotions

If you make a note of daily emotions it will make it easier for you to be happier, as it will be more obvious what makes you happy and what makes you sad. For instance, if you feel frustrated for a few hours in the afternoon at work, you may benefit from taking a walk at lunch time to give yourself a break from the work environment.

 

Signs Of Verbal Abuse

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

When many people hear the word abuse, they think about physical abuse such as hitting, slapping or punching. However verbal abuse is more common than physical abuse, and it can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

One of the main problems with verbal abuse is that many people aren’t aware that they are being verbally abused. Instead they believe that the abuse is a reasonable reaction to their own behaviour, which can destroy their confidence and self-esteem over time.

Here are 10 clear signs of verbal abuse.

1. Withholding information. They don’t express their thoughts or feelings with you, but they expect you to share your feelings with them.

2. They constantly counter your points. They often disagree with your opinion and berate you. For instance if you enjoy a song they will say that the song is bad, and then they will make you feel bad for having a different opinion.

3. They undermine your achievements.

4. They trivialise their hurtful comments. If they hurt you they don’t apologise; instead they say that their comments were just a joke. This can make you question if you are being irrational or overreacting.

5. They frequently point out flaws with your character. You are too emotional, too moody, too loud, etc.

6. They blame you for things that aren’t your fault.

7. They control all of your conversations together. They decide what you talk about, and sometimes they even try to tell you what your opinion is.

8. They call you cruel or hurtful names.

9. They threaten you, such as threatening to end the relationship if you don’t change or do what they want.

10. They frequently use gas lighting to make you feel crazy. You will remind them about something that happened in the past and they will immediately deny that the event ever happened.

Can you think of any other signs of verbal abuse? Let me know with a comment!

How To Easily Stop Procrastinating

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Everyone is occasionally guilty of procrastinating! Here are some very easy ways to stop procrastinating.

 

1. Try Positive Procrastination

If you are feeling super lazy, try using your procrastination to your advantage. You can leverage tasks by writing down a list of things that you need to do  – and then start by completing the easiest task. This methodical method means that you are much more likely to start working as you are setting yourself a fairly easy target.

Completing the easiest tasks first means that you can put off the hardest tasks, but it means that you are still working and getting into a productive flow. Once you have finished the first few tasks you will be feeling more productive so it will be easier to complete the difficult tasks, and they will seem less overwhelming as you will already have ticked a few things off your to-do list.

 

2. Work On Your Mood

If you are in a bad mood you are much more likely to procrastinate, as you are more likely to think that you should improve your mood by doing something fun.

When you are in a bad mood you are less likely to knuckle down and work, as you feel like you deserve to do something that makes you happy. On the other hand, if you are already in a good mood you won’t be thinking about how you can improve your mood, so you are more likely to work.

Try to improve your mood quickly by watching a YouTube video or chatting to a friend – but remember that you are improving your mood so that you can be productive!

 

3. Break Tasks Up

Big tasks can seem overwhelming, and one of the main causes of procrastination is the feeling of dread. The task seems so big that you know it will take a long time to complete, and this can be disheartening.

If you can relate to this, break the tasks up into smaller, more manageable chunks. Sure, writing a 10 page essay is overwhelming – but writing an introduction isn’t too hard, and you can do that in less than an hour.

What do you think of my suggestions? Do you think that they will help you to procrastinate less? Let me know with a comment!

My Thoughts On Anxiety

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Anxiety is a big problem for a lot of people, including myself. Sometimes it can seem like anxiety is an unavoidable part of daily life, and I am starting to think that this is true.

I know this sounds negative, but let me explain.

Imagine that you are a fluffy puppy living with your owner. (A little weird I know… but stay with my train of thought!) You may be an animal but you will still feel stress and anxiety; for instance, you may feel stressed if you need to go for a wee but your owner won’t let you out. You will feel stress if your owner goes to the local shop, or if your food bowl is empty.

This stress is similar to the stress that humans feel, but there is one key difference; when an animal feels stress it is easy to solve the problem quickly. If they are hungry they will find food, if they are thirsty they will find water – and if they need to go to the toilet, then they will!

For the puppy that is the end of the stressful situation. This is because animals live in a world where it is easy to quickly deal with stress, as it is linked to survival. This was the same for humans for most of our evolution – you felt hungry, you felt stressed, you found some food and the stress disappeared.

This means that stress once helped us to survive.

However modern life isn’t that simple. Most of the things that cause you stress are long term issues, such as worrying about your career, relationships and family problems. It can take years to form a good career, and therefore it is very difficult to stop worrying about it.

Most of the choices that we make won’t immediately relieve our stress; if you want a good career you will have to study hard, apply for jobs and wait to hear if you have an interview. If you want to be financially secure in the future, you can’t spend a day saving and then be done – you must spend your whole life saving and spending responsibly.

This makes it a lot harder for humans to de-stress, but there is still something that you can do to relieve stress; you can measure your progress in tiny chunks.

If you are worried about starting a good career, make the effort to apply improve your resume today. If you are worried about your finances, ring a financial adviser today. These small steps will help your brain to de-stress as it will help to remove the uncertainty from the situation.

If you are feeling stressed right now, think about what you can do today to relieve that stress. It may only be something small, but it will help you to sleep easier tonight. : )

6 Ways To Deal With Stress

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

Everyone has to deal with stressful situations. This is because sadly stressful situations are just part of life, but thankfully these unpleasant situations are normally few and far between.

However, lots of people go through times that are extremely stressful. When this happens it is hard to eat food, it is hard to sleep and you may even feel physically sick. Over time it can start to feel like stress is the only constant feeling in your life, which is mentally draining.

If you can relate to this, you should spend some time every day actively dealing with the stress in your life.

Here are 6 ways to deal with stress.

 

1. Start A Stress Diary

Make a note of the date, the time and your location every time you feel stressed out, and rate how stressed you feel out of ten. This will make it easier for you to discover which situations make you feel stressed, so you can start to think about how to avoid that situation. For instance, if you only ever feel stressed when you are with one friend, cut them out of your life!

 

2. Start A To Do List

A to-do list will make it easier for you to feel like you are in control of your life, and it will make the stressful tasks seem less overwhelming.

 

3. Shorten Your To Do List

I know this may seem like a contradiction but to-do lists can only help so much – and if you start overburdening yourself with tasks, you will soon feel stressed again. If your to-do list always makes you feel stressed you may need to drop a few things, such as a hobby or an extra commitment. It can be difficult to do less, but it will help if you always feel stressed.

 

4. Just Focus On One Thing

Choose one task to deal with, and when it is done start thinking about the next task. This can be hard to do but it will reduce your feelings of stress and fear.

 

5. Say No If You Want To

Some people feel like they have to say yes to everyone, because when they say no they feel like they are letting people down. However, in reality you are letting down yourself if you say yes when you don’t want to!

 

6. Avoid Using A Crutch

Lots of people turn to a crutch during stressful times, such as smoking, drinking or eating junk food. While I am not personally judging you for having a crutch, it does make it a lot easier to avoid dealing with the stressful situation! This is because people often think “this is stressful, so I’m going to smoke” rather than thinking “this is stressful, so I’m going to try and think of solutions to solve the problem.” Next time you feel stressed spend five minutes thinking about possible solutions before you go to your crutch.

Thought Provoking Quotes About Anxiety

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

Anxiety affects millions of people every year. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting around 18 percent of the population.

Here are 10 thought provoking quotes about anxiety and how it affects people.

1. Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far. Jodi Picoult

2. P.S. You’re not going to die. Here’s the white-hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you’ll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you’ll still be okay. If you sing off-key, get beat by the competition, have your heart shattered, get fired…it’s not going to kill you. Ask anyone who’s been through it. Danielle LaPorte

3. Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

4. People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh

5. The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness. Alain de Botton

6. Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. Walter Anderson

7. You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. Eleanor Roosevelt

8. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. Grenville Kleiser

9. People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. George Bernard Shaw

10. Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths. Charles Haddon Spurgeon

6 Reasons To Love Spring

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Every season comes with its own charms, but spring is certainly one of the most beautiful seasons. Summer is known for its warmth and winter is known for its cold beauty, but spring is known for being the season of life.

As the weather warms up, plants bloom and baby animals are born. Spring is filled with promise and wonder, so it is hard to decide what I like the most about the season – but there are lots of things to choose from.

Here are 6 reasons to love spring.

1. Longer Days

After months of darkness, the days finally are getting longer and the nights are getting shorter. It is wonderful to be able to travel to work and back in the light instead of the darkness, and the extra daylight definitely improves my mood. It is also much easier to get out of bed in the morning when it actually looks like the morning, instead of the middle of the night!

2. Flowering Trees (And Bees)

Nothing puts a smile on my face like a beautiful tree covered in delicate pink blossoms. It is like watching the world wake up from a 6 month nap. I also love watching the little bees buzz around as they gather nectar!

3. Outdoor Eating And Drinking

It’s always fun to go out for food and drinks with friends and family, but I always seem to have a much better time if we are sat outside in the sun. It seems like the sun puts everyone in a happier, more relaxed mood. I also think that orange juice tastes better when the sun is shining, but that might just be me.

4. Outside Exercise

I spend a considerable amount of time during winter in the gym. It’s just too cold and dark to exercise outside! However I actually prefer exercising outside. I think running through the park is much more stimulating that running on a running machine, and classes are much better when they are in the sunshine instead of a studio.

5. The Festivals

Spring is the season of festivals. I live in Britain, and I’ve already bought tickets to a music festival in Leeds and two local food festivals. I’m also hoping to check out some film festivals this year! Are you planning on going to any festivals?

6. Buttercups

I think that buttercups are one of my favorite flowers. I know that they are small and simple, but I love how bright they are, and I love how the sight of buttercups signals the beginning of spring and all its beauty. Although I do wish my dog would stop eating them.

What do you love about spring? Let me know with a comment!

Back From My Unplanned Blogging Break…

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Hello fellow WordPressers! You may (or may not) have noticed that I haven’t blogged for about two months. It wasn’t a planned break, but life got very hectic – I moved house, I started a new job, and I found a new housemate.

I also started doing more work for one of the companies that I write for – the picture for this post is some filming we were doing for our YouTube channel. Very exciting – but it has been a very busy few months!

Thankfully my schedule is finally returning to normal… so I can finally return to a normal blogging schedule.

I’m really, really happy to be back to blogging life. I’m currently sat in my front room writing this blog post with a cup of tea, and the room is filled with the glorious spring sunlight. I’m going to write a blog post to publish later this week, and then I think I am going to take Holly (my 15 year old poodle) for a walk around the park. I’m looking forward to feeling the spring sun warming my face – and I’m sure Holly will enjoy stretching her legs while trying to eat the beautiful spring buttercups.

Anyway, that is all for now. The last thing I would like to do is thank you all for sticking with my blog even though I wasn’t posting consistently. I feel very lucky to be part of such a friendly and supportive blogging community! Look out for a blog post later this week – and then a new blog post every week after that!

ho

5 Ways To Be Nice Even When You Don’t Want To

Posted on by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

 

In an ideal world we would only have to interact with friendly, kind, considerate people. They would make an effort to get along with others, and they would avoid causing conflict or burdening others.

Sadly we don’t live in an ideal world. Some people are rude, inconsiderate and selfish, and we still have to spend time with them. These people don’t have the same sense of humour as you, they get on your nerves and you sometimes wish you could avoid them – but you can’t.

It can be difficult to be nice to people like this, but normally that is the best decision. Choosing to actively dislike someone can result in you becoming unpleasant yourself; maybe you will gossip about them or encourage others to dislike them, or maybe you will unfairly judge them due to your dislike of them.

It is easy to be mean to mean people, but it doesn’t achieve anything. Here are 5 ways to be nice to someone, even when you don’t want to be nice.

 

1. Try To Be Aware Of The Times When You Aren’t Nice

You may find that you sometimes snap at people without meaning to. It is too late to change that reaction, but it isn’t too late to address why you weren’t nice. It could be because you were tired after a long day, so you took your frustrations out on someone else. Acknowledge the exact reason why you weren’t kind, and you will be less likely to repeat the action.

 

2. Avoid Conflict

If you don’t feel like being nice you might be tempted to bring up issues that will cause conflict, but this will just make the problem worse. Instead focus on being friendly – and if you do want to say something critical, make sure that it is constructive.

 

3. Focus On Common Ground

Even if you think that you have absolutely nothing in common with the other person, there will be at least one thing that you both agree on. Make an effort to talk to them about different things, including music, TV, sports and hobbies. Just having one thing that you see eye-to-eye on will make it easier for you to be nice to each other. Avoid political subjects, as this conversation may end up making you both dislike each other even more!

 

4. Make Kind Gestures

If the person you dislike is a co-worker, ask if they want anything from the shop when you make a shop run. If it is someone you spend time with outside of work (such as a family member, or a friend of your partners), offer to help them with a small task. These small gestures will make it easier for you to get along, and it will help to reduce any tension or awkwardness between you.

 

Minimize Contact

 

If the other person isn’t reciprocating your gestures you should minimize contact with them for your own emotional wellbeing. If you see each other less it will be easier for you to be nice when you do see them, and it means that the relationship will become a smaller part of your life. You may not be able to control the other person’s actions, but you can control your own!