4 Ways To Communicate With Stubborn Friends And Family Members

Long-term friends and family members are important to everyone. For most people, it feels great knowing that there are people in their lives who will always stick by them – even if they don’t always see eye to eye!

After years and years of knowing someone, you’re bound to disagree on something. This shouldn’t ruin your friendship, but sometimes it can be difficult to disagree with stubborn people without creating tension.

If you can relate to this, here are 4 tips to help you communicate effectively with your stubborn friends and family members.

 

1. Find Some Common Ground

The more someone disagrees with us, the more stubborn we become. If you want a stubborn person to see where you are coming from, start by finding some common ground. You don’t need to become a pushover and agree with their argument – just put the focus of the conversation on something you will both agree with. For instance, you could say “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this subject, but I hope that we can still go out for food after this conversation. Where do you want to go?” This will help to diffuse the tense situation.

 

2. Don’t Attack Or Blame

If someone feels backed into a corner, they become emotional and defensive. This means that they are more likely to attack and blame the other person, turning the disagreement into an argument, which is harder to resolve.

Instead of blaming, be honest. For example, instead of saying “You never do anything around the house,” you could say “I did a lot of tidying up last night. I’m really tired now – will you help me tonight?” This will help the other person to see your point, while diffusing the tension.

 

3. Don’t Focus On Proving Your Point

Sometimes disagreements end up going round and round in circles, because one person is only focused on proving their point. Instead of moving forward, they get sucked in and they won’t stop until the other person sees their point.

Don’t let yourself get caught in this emotional trap. Take a deep breath and focus on communication, rather than blindly proving a point. Ask the other person how they feel, and bring the subject back to the main issue.

 

4. Try To Listen And Ask Questions

Most arguments are caused because one person can’t see the other person’s perspective. If you want to resolve the issue, you should focus on listening and asking questions so that you can understand the other person’s point. The simple act of you trying to understand them should help them to calm down and relax, so that you can talk honestly and openly without tension.

Do you have any other tips? Let me know with a comment!

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6 comments

  1. Daisy9979 · July 23, 2016

    I love this post! Too many people think disagreeing means you can’t be friends with someone but that’s definitely not the case.

    I would say to “pick your battles”, know that not every conversation needs to be a major debate and sometimes it’s okay to not engage in certain topics with certain people. Also, know when to walk away or simply agree to disagree. My best friend and I are both stubborn, sometimes one of us just has to say “We’re never going to agree on this topic so let’s move on and go have a drink” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Twentysomething Social Recluse · July 27, 2016

      Yeah I agree – That is the best answer in that situation . Sounds like a healthy friendship to me! 🙂

      Like

  2. The Otaku Judge · July 27, 2016

    Internet forum users should paid heed to these tips. So many threads become petty arguments when both sides become entrenched in their position.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Twentysomething Social Recluse · July 27, 2016

      Yeah very true! Internet comment sections often make me feel sad about humanity. It’s interesting how aggressive and stubborn some people get when they are behind a keyboard!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Vivek Vatsal1 · July 27, 2016

    That needs an applaud!!👍

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Twentysomething Social Recluse · July 27, 2016

      Thank you Vivek! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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