blogging | The Twenty Something Social Recluse

My Thoughts On Anxiety

Posted on April 30, 2017 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Anxiety is a big problem for a lot of people, including myself. Sometimes it can seem like anxiety is an unavoidable part of daily life, and I am starting to think that this is true.

I know this sounds negative, but let me explain.

Imagine that you are a fluffy puppy living with your owner. (A little weird I know… but stay with my train of thought!) You may be an animal but you will still feel stress and anxiety; for instance, you may feel stressed if you need to go for a wee but your owner won’t let you out. You will feel stress if your owner goes to the local shop, or if your food bowl is empty.

This stress is similar to the stress that humans feel, but there is one key difference; when an animal feels stress it is easy to solve the problem quickly. If they are hungry they will find food, if they are thirsty they will find water – and if they need to go to the toilet, then they will!

For the puppy that is the end of the stressful situation. This is because animals live in a world where it is easy to quickly deal with stress, as it is linked to survival. This was the same for humans for most of our evolution – you felt hungry, you felt stressed, you found some food and the stress disappeared.

This means that stress once helped us to survive.

However modern life isn’t that simple. Most of the things that cause you stress are long term issues, such as worrying about your career, relationships and family problems. It can take years to form a good career, and therefore it is very difficult to stop worrying about it.

Most of the choices that we make won’t immediately relieve our stress; if you want a good career you will have to study hard, apply for jobs and wait to hear if you have an interview. If you want to be financially secure in the future, you can’t spend a day saving and then be done – you must spend your whole life saving and spending responsibly.

This makes it a lot harder for humans to de-stress, but there is still something that you can do to relieve stress; you can measure your progress in tiny chunks.

If you are worried about starting a good career, make the effort to apply improve your resume today. If you are worried about your finances, ring a financial adviser today. These small steps will help your brain to de-stress as it will help to remove the uncertainty from the situation.

If you are feeling stressed right now, think about what you can do today to relieve that stress. It may only be something small, but it will help you to sleep easier tonight. : )

Back From My Unplanned Blogging Break…

Posted on March 23, 2017 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Hello fellow WordPressers! You may (or may not) have noticed that I haven’t blogged for about two months. It wasn’t a planned break, but life got very hectic – I moved house, I started a new job, and I found a new housemate.

I also started doing more work for one of the companies that I write for – the picture for this post is some filming we were doing for our YouTube channel. Very exciting – but it has been a very busy few months!

Thankfully my schedule is finally returning to normal… so I can finally return to a normal blogging schedule.

I’m really, really happy to be back to blogging life. I’m currently sat in my front room writing this blog post with a cup of tea, and the room is filled with the glorious spring sunlight. I’m going to write a blog post to publish later this week, and then I think I am going to take Holly (my 15 year old poodle) for a walk around the park. I’m looking forward to feeling the spring sun warming my face – and I’m sure Holly will enjoy stretching her legs while trying to eat the beautiful spring buttercups.

Anyway, that is all for now. The last thing I would like to do is thank you all for sticking with my blog even though I wasn’t posting consistently. I feel very lucky to be part of such a friendly and supportive blogging community! Look out for a blog post later this week – and then a new blog post every week after that!

15 Small Things That Make Life Happier

Posted on September 17, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Sometimes it is the little things that put us in a great mood. Here are 15 things that make life better!

Finishing work early.
Walking home from work when the weather is beautiful.
Waking up before your alarm goes off, and realizing you still have hours left in bed.
Being praised by your friends, family or boss.
Finding money in your pocket or jacket that you forgot you had.
When the elevator arrives as soon as you press the button.
Listening to a new song that you’ve just discovered on repeat.
Listening to your all-time favorite song on repeat.
When you realize that a show you love is back with a new season.
When you see a happy child or puppy in public.
Having a great hair day.
When you sing/rap the whole song correctly.
When the sun starts shining and you put your winter coat away for a few months.
When a package arrives that you’ve been looking forward to. (Today a big box of Twiglets arrived for me. Day = made!)
When you think of a funny memory and you can’t help but to smile.

What small thing made your life better this week? Let me know with a comment!

Interesting Quotes About The Internet

Posted on September 1, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

“We are all now connected by the Internet, like neurons in a giant brain.” Stephen Hawking

“The internet could be a very positive step towards education, organisation and participation in a meaningful society.” Noam Chomsky

“If television’s a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won’t shut up.” Dorothy Gambrell

“People rely on Wikipedia, and a lot of it is wrong. But because there it is on the Internet, they assume it’s right. Rumor gets printed as fact. We may have lost our critical facility as a nation.” Ben Mezrich

“Oh, Wikipedia, with your tension between those who would share knowledge and those who would destroy it.” John Green

“You are what you share.” Charles Leadbeater

“There’s a danger in the internet and social media. The notion that information is enough, that more and more information is enough, that you don’t have to think, you just have to get more information – gets very dangerous.” Edward de Bono

“The amount of control you have over somebody if you can monitor internet activity is amazing.” Tim Berners-Lee

“Whether in cave paintings or the latest uses of the Internet, human beings have always told their histories and truths through parable and fable. We are inveterate storytellers.” Beeban Kidron

“Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.” Douglas Adams

How To Spot A Narcissist

Posted on August 8, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

We’ve all encountered narcissists, but sometimes it isn’t easy to tell that they’re a narcissist until it is too late. Before you know it, you have a co-worker who is always bragging about their life, or a friend who always makes the conversation about themselves.

If you can relate to this, don’t worry. There are often tell-tale signs that give away narcissism – and here they are.

They are likeable to begin with. Narcissists often make great first impressions, coming across as charismatic and friendly – which is probably why they perform so well in job interviews.

They often work in leadership positions. This isn’t because they make better leaders; it is just because they want to lead and rule, so they are more likely to end up in a leadership position than someone else. If they aren’t a leader, you can bet that they wish they were!

They always make the conversation about themselves. They often do this without any clear link – one minute you are talking about work, and the next minute they are talking about their problems/achievements, such as a break up or a promotion.

In all the stories they tell, they are never to blame. The story could paint them as either a winner or a victim – either way, they will still be blameless.

Appearance is important to them. They are more likely to make an effort with their appearance, and they are also more likely to buy high-status items such as an expensive phone or car.

Their past is filled with human wreckage. They may have been through many jobs and break-ups, because narcissists put themselves before everyone else (including their partners.)

They are more likely to take things personally. If you and a narcissistic co-worker disagree about a future project, they will think that you are against them personally, instead of accepting that you both have different ideas.

What do you think about these points? Do you know a narcissist?

15 Inspiring Quotes About Inner Strength

Posted on July 31, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius
“I found an inner strength to fight for myself. It was clear that nobody else would.” Tehmina Durrani
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” Mahatma Gandhi
“The storm is out there and every one of us must eventually face the storm. When the storm comes, pray that it will shake you to your roots and break you wide-open. Being broken open by the storm is your only hope. When you are broken open you get to discover for the first time what is inside you. Some people never get to see what is inside them; what beauty, what strength, what truth and love. They were never broken open by the storm. So, don’t run from your pain — run into your pain. Let life’s storm shatter you.” Bryant McGill
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” Albert Camus
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.” Sarah Dessen
“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” Maya Angelou
“Deep roots are not reached by the frost.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch
“Self-discovery is the most empowering time of your life, you remember who you are and you become the best version of yourself but what they forget to tell you is, to get to a point of pleasure you must face the pain.” Nikki Rowe
“You are your master. Only you have the master keys to open the inner locks.” Amit Ray
“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” Jane Austen
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” Napoléon Bonaparte

What do you think about these quotes? Which is your favorite?

4 Ways To Communicate With Stubborn Friends And Family Members

Posted on July 23, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Long-term friends and family members are important to everyone. For most people, it feels great knowing that there are people in their lives who will always stick by them – even if they don’t always see eye to eye!

After years and years of knowing someone, you’re bound to disagree on something. This shouldn’t ruin your friendship, but sometimes it can be difficult to disagree with stubborn people without creating tension.

If you can relate to this, here are 4 tips to help you communicate effectively with your stubborn friends and family members.

1. Find Some Common Ground

The more someone disagrees with us, the more stubborn we become. If you want a stubborn person to see where you are coming from, start by finding some common ground. You don’t need to become a pushover and agree with their argument – just put the focus of the conversation on something you will both agree with. For instance, you could say “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this subject, but I hope that we can still go out for food after this conversation. Where do you want to go?” This will help to diffuse the tense situation.

2. Don’t Attack Or Blame

If someone feels backed into a corner, they become emotional and defensive. This means that they are more likely to attack and blame the other person, turning the disagreement into an argument, which is harder to resolve.

Instead of blaming, be honest. For example, instead of saying “You never do anything around the house,” you could say “I did a lot of tidying up last night. I’m really tired now – will you help me tonight?” This will help the other person to see your point, while diffusing the tension.

3. Don’t Focus On Proving Your Point

Sometimes disagreements end up going round and round in circles, because one person is only focused on proving their point. Instead of moving forward, they get sucked in and they won’t stop until the other person sees their point.

Don’t let yourself get caught in this emotional trap. Take a deep breath and focus on communication, rather than blindly proving a point. Ask the other person how they feel, and bring the subject back to the main issue.

4. Try To Listen And Ask Questions

Most arguments are caused because one person can’t see the other person’s perspective. If you want to resolve the issue, you should focus on listening and asking questions so that you can understand the other person’s point. The simple act of you trying to understand them should help them to calm down and relax, so that you can talk honestly and openly without tension.

Do you have any other tips? Let me know with a comment!

25 Ways To Save Money On A Day-To-Day Basis

Posted on July 12, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Carry a bottle of water with you when you go out, so you are less likely to buy an expensive drink.
Try to avoid bulk buying food that is perishable, even if it is on sale. The most expensive food you buy is the food you throw out.
Go vegetarian for a few days a week to save money on meal costs.
Eat leftovers for lunch instead of buying more food.
Switch to energy efficient light bulbs.
Carry less money in your purse while you’re out and about – and try to leave your credit card at home if you aren’t planning on shopping.
Throw a swap party with your friends. You can swap clothes, household items, vouchers – anything you can think of!
Need something new? Consider buying a second hand version to save money.
Don’t watch much TV? Consider getting rid of your TV license and replacing it with Netflix or Hulu.
Only do full loads of laundry.
Check your cell phone plan to see if you could move to a cheaper plan with less offers.
Bike to your destination, instead of driving or getting the bus.
Wash your car at home, instead of paying someone else to do it.
Need to get a taxi? Make sure it’s an Uber as they are often more cost effective.
Replace expensive cosmetic products with a drugstore brand.
Work out at home or the park, instead of the gym to save money on membership fees. There are lots of Youtube tutorials to make sure you are still doing quality exercises.
Stop collecting items, and start selling.
Spend the night at home with your friends, instead of going out. You can still eat great food and drink delicious drinks!
Repair old clothing instead of throwing it away and replacing it.
Make four times as much stew or casserole when you are cooking. Freeze the extra so that you can have leftovers for lunch at work. This also means you have delicious meals ready at home, so you’re less likely to order take out.
Stop using credit cards entirely.
Do a price comparison for your local grocery stores to make sure you get the best deal.
Cancel all of your membership cards that you don’t use.
Wash your hands regularly. Being ill is expensive!
De-clutter your home and sell the items that you don’t need.

Life Update

Posted on July 5, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

I realised that I’ve not really posted anything about myself for a few months, but today it is time for an update!

I created this blog to be useful – I wanted to help other people in lots of little ways. However, I’ve started to get more followers, and I thought I should let you know a little bit about myself, too.

I’m a freelance writer/editor/transcriptionist, and I’ve been freelance since I finished studying Journalism at University. I write for Lifehack, Thought Catalog, The Talko, Simple and Bloomwell – lots of different publications doing different things!

Some articles are motivational, such as ”30 things you can do today to make yourself feel better.” (All of the articles I mention here are linked at the bottom, if you want to read them!)

I really enjoy writing list articles, or anything to do with productivity or motivation. It feels like I am being (semi)useful in the world. I (very occasionally) get an email from a reader thanking me for helping them to achieve something, and that makes me feel amazing.

Others are more educational. I write scientific articles for Bloomwell, a family legal company. For instance, I recently wrote “Your daughter’s brain and soccer: here’s what you need to know.”

Simple is a mobile banking service, so I write articles about saving money. I also write budget articles, such as “everything you’ll need to run a triathlon.”

I also run the newsletter, blog and social media pages for online dating website Date British Guys. I recently wrote a piece for the Queen’s birthday – “10 things you didn’t know about the Queen.”

I love writing for Date British Guys, as I manage some interns – so I actually have co-workers! Hurray for social contact with other people. 😉

I also do a couple of hours of transcription each week, and I write for a few other publications (but not as often).

Are you a freelancer? Would you enjoy freelancing? Let me know with a comment!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-johnson/2016/06/30-simple-things-you-can-do-today-that-will-make-your-life-better-tomorrow/

https://www.bloomwell.com/blog/your-daughter%E2%80%99s-brain-and-soccer-here%E2%80%99s-what-you-need-know

https://www.simple.com/blog/first-triathlon-gear

http://www.datebritishguys.com/blog/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-queen/

15 MORE FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO ALONE

Posted on June 22, 2016 by The Twentysomething Social Recluse

Lots of people are introverted, and sometimes they just don’t feel like socializing. They want to spend their day enjoying their own company, but scrolling through Facebook and Twitter can get a little boring.

If you are an introvert who is looking for fun things to do, here are 15 free and fun activities.

Watch a classic old film that you’ve never seen, such as Dracula. Alternatively, watch a newer film that you’ve been meaning to watch.
Take a stroll through Wikipedia, and teach yourself everything you can about one subject.
Sit in your back garden or on your roof at night and watch the stars.
Write a song/poem/short story.
Teach yourself to meditate.
Print off your photographs and put them into a scrapbook.
Start to read a book that you’ve been planning on reading.
Play a free online game – the internet is full of them!
Create a half an hour workout session using Youtube videos – Fitness Blender have lots of short videos that exercise different parts of your body!
If you have a pet, teach it a new trick.
Write a letter to your best friend.
Join a forum that discusses one of your passions. Comment and get involved.
Create a full course meal with the food you already have in your fridge.
Read a creepypasta.
Find the answer to a question you’ve always wondered about.

Do you have any other suggestions? Let me know with a comment!